Questions about how to use the forum?

Visit our new Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) section.

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

September 29, 2022, 01:21:49 am

Login with username, password and session length

Recent

Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 246146
  • Total Topics: 24580
  • Online Today: 172
  • Online Ever: 1127
  • (January 16, 2020, 04:17:02 pm)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 65
Total: 65

You are no longer alone ...

Author Topic: A little worried that I know it's for nothing but I can't help  (Read 1085 times)

patiently55

  • ~ Titanium ~
  • *
  • Posts: 189
  • People helped 14
 My mom is not doing very well and they live 1200 miles away.
 I may have to take an airplane flight and go up there and get them settled into a nursing home facility that'll probably take about three weeks to get completely done.
then I'm going to fly back home.

 I worry if Social Security knew I had to do this that they would think that if I can get on an airplane with my high anxiety organize getting my mom set up in a facility and then fly back that I can work.
 I know that I can't work and if this is going to happen where I have to go up there it's going to be horrible on my anxiety.
I haven't traveled since the hurricane that came here in 2017

 I  I'm going to be an absolute wreck I am already having panic attacks knowing this may happen very soon.

 I don't want to go up there but I don't have a choice

 This is my mom I am her POA and I have to do it.

  I know social security won't find out I'm doing this

It's just the thought in my head that Gees if they knew I was doing this they would take my social security away because they would think if I can get on a plane and travel and work on getting my mom set up in a facility then I can work.

I would never ever tell social security that I am doing this I am  having so many panic attacks over this that sleeping without alprazolam now is not possible & I have had so many episodes of shaking & panic lately.

BUT part of me knows it's silly but the other part of me feels like IF they knew I would lose my SSDI. any advice

 I am having a terrible time with this

newdawn

  • Global Moderator
  • ~ Platinum ~
  • ****
  • Posts: 3860
  • People helped 516
Re: A little worried that I know it's for nothing but I can't help
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2022, 12:44:57 pm »
If it makes you feel any better, I now travel about once a year or every other year with my mom via plane for about 12 days at a time, my psychologist and psychiatrist know this and even note it in my treatment records since it's one of my "goals" I work towards, and it has NOT been an issue for me. It is also noted in my medical records that my mom and I make sure to fly first class (because it decreases my anxiety) and that we make sure to plan for one rest day when we arrive and a rest day before we leave (also because of my anxiety/fatigue).

My first CDR was a longform and I had done one of these trips with my mom in the year prior to the CDR. Actually we did a short trip driving in-state first. Then a month or so later we flew to Utah, spent about a week in SLC to see my uncle and then drove to a few national parks over the next week, staying a short time near each one. Again, we planned in rest days for me and my mom did all the driving once we got to our destinations. But I handled all the trip planning, carrying our luggage, etc.

I had no issues during my long form CDR. I had a short form in 2021 prior to our next trip. The short form did not progress to a long form, but if it had, it would have been all over my medical records about my next upcoming trip with my mom to Utah and Arizona since it's all part of my therapy "goals." I was not concerned.

I'm just trying to ease your mind a bit since I haven't had any trouble and am much younger than you and do talk to my doctors about these trips.

It is tough traveling when you haven't for years and also moving a parent or grandparent into assisted living or a nursing home (we've taken some steps toward getting my grandma into a memory care place and it's a lot). Some assisted living or nursing care facilities will actually coordinate the whole move and all the logistics, but unfortunately the ones my grandma is looking at do not help with all the logistics though I think they have recommendations of moving companies you can use, etc. Regardless of whether the facility coordinates everything or not, it's still not an emotionally/mentally "easy" process for either the parent or child.

Anyways, the last thing I would worry about is SSA thinking you can work just because you can take a flight somewhere and help transition your mom into a nursing home facility. I think it's an unnecessary worry and is just adding another layer of stress/anxiety to an already difficult situation for you. Please try to just focus on making this process and trip as easy on yourself as possible for you, whatever that looks like.

For example, I find flying first class less anxiety-provoking. I also would rely on hired cars to pick me up/drop me off at the airport and use uber/lyfts once in town if I was traveling without my mom (uber/lyft give me anxiety/panic too, but much less than trying to drive alone in an unfamiliar place). I also make sure to determine ahead of the trip where I can order food or groceries from once I arrive. I also plan for at least 1-2 rest days after I arrive to "settle in" and at least 1 rest day before I leave for the flight home. I even pack 1-2 weeks in advance of the trip since I have a lot of anxiety around packing.

This is just what my trip planning looks like in order to reduce my travel anxiety. Yours may be totally different depending what your anxieties and triggers are like.

My psychologist is all about removing any extra anxiety barriers. Like it's bad enough I have trouble driving alone, but I also have anxiety about my neighbors seeing me go out for short drives out and back and I worry about what they (my neighbors) must think about me coming/going on these short trips. So we try to talk through in therapy about my "neighbor anxiety" and remove that unnecessary layer/barrier to me driving. So I will still have anxiety about driving, but at least I (hopefully) won't have the added anxiety about worrying about what my neighbors are thinking of me.
Location: IL
Age at Application: 31
Disability: Depression, anxiety
Applied: 11/2013
First Denial: 03/2014
Reconsideration Denial: 11/2014
Hearing: 11/13/15 (Friday the 13th!)
ALJ Approval: 01/15/16 Fully Favorable
Back Pay: 02/13/16
Award Letter: 02/17/16
1st monthly benefit: 03/21/16

Just Me

  • Administrator
  • ~ Platinum ~
  • ****
  • Posts: 14234
  • People helped 1051
  • Nice Administrator
Re: A little worried that I know it's for nothing but I can't help
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2022, 02:11:51 pm »
Discuss this with your doctor. He should be able to adjust your medication.
Nerve damage in upper and lower extremities. Degenerative Disc Disease, RA.

Hope the size of a mustard seed can produce Faith that can move mountains.

patiently55

  • ~ Titanium ~
  • *
  • Posts: 189
  • People helped 14
Re: A little worried that I know it's for nothing but I can't help
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2022, 03:25:57 pm »
the meds don't help much when I panic I see RED..........when I calm down I can manage with what I take  no amount of meds at least for me fixes this... 20 + years and  STILL  highly anxious... :Main02: