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You are no longer alone ...

Author Topic: Psychologist Visit Today  (Read 4931 times)

Dragon Fly

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #15 on: December 04, 2010, 11:27:39 am »
I so agree with you guys. Since finding this site I have noticed a huge changed in my demeanor which even carries out into the outside world. I was feeling pretty rock bottom by the time I decided to apply for SSDI, especially after searching online for help and only finding lawyers trying to sell their services. You guys have literally become part of my family and I find myself thinking "Pati would be amused by this" etc. In real life I am a catch 22. I like people, some people, but I have a really hard time being in the fold. No one would ever guess I felt that way because my exterior is bubbly and smiley. I think of that as a survival tactic. This year I felt like one of the Survivor members getting their torch snuffed out. I didn't want to leave the house or answer my phone. Little by little I've been coming out of my shell and I really do owe a lot of it to you.

I don't give hugs I give KISSES.  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Love,
>;<
Dragon Fly
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." --  Friedrich Nietzsche

Mousey

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #16 on: December 04, 2010, 11:41:27 pm »
It's been running through my head all day what Pati said about being here allows us to be the person we wanna be or feel safe enough here to feel at ease.

Then I began to think about how easy it is for me to be what I want to be on here but can't do out in the public. It sadden me somewhat. But when  I begin to think about how so many other people rely on the computer and forums to have some contact with others, I realized I was not the only one. My sister in-law told me not to long ago that if it wasn't for Face Book she would virtually have no contact with the outside world. So many others are like that. So whatever works for each of us to help us get out into the world, even if it is on the computer. At least we are having some form of contact with others. And if it makes you feel safe behind a screen then it's working. At least we are having some form of socialization.  :)

****Mousey****


Kittyholic

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #17 on: December 05, 2010, 06:02:10 am »
Mousey, that is so true. I can no longer drive, and my husband’s work schedule (split shift – six days a week) makes it nearly impossible for me to go anywhere with him, as he is generally runs errands either to or from work. The funny thing is that I’ve become so comfortable in my home, that even when I have the opportunity to go somewhere with him, I hesitate. Even with the cane, I can’t walk long distances, and not all stores have the mobility scooters, so I just find it easier to let him do the shopping and any shopping I have to do, I do over the internet.

I asked him once if he thought I was developing agoraphobia. He didn’t think so. He sees how difficult it is for me to get around, and understands my not wanting to be in places/crowds, where I can easily loose balance, or not be able to find a place to rest when I need to. So, until Medicare kicks in and I can get a mobility scooter of my own, I guess we won’t know.

But until then, this computer screen is my window on the world.
The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it. (Richard Bach)

Dragon Fly

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #18 on: December 05, 2010, 08:50:10 pm »
It's funny, when I go out into the real world, I feel like I have a coat of armor around me, even if I am smiling or whatever, I am basically just white knuckling it out there. When I get home, and specifically when I get to see you guys, I feel a sigh of relief.

OMG it's my last night in this place called home....soon I'll be typing to you guys from up in the hills. :)
>;<
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." --  Friedrich Nietzsche

se0269

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #19 on: December 05, 2010, 10:13:46 pm »
Dragon Fly and Mousey, I sometimes have things going on in my life and I can't put my finger on it and you and Mousey will post and I realize that's me. I do not feel comfortable around people unless they are family.  One of the reasons that I try to keep any errands or stops short is that one of my legs is only good for around 15 minutes maximum and I start limping. My wife has a handicap placard and I could get one too, but unfortunately I feel a limp or a handicap sticker can be a bulleye for purse snatchers or other individuals that prey on people.

Dragon Fly

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #20 on: December 05, 2010, 11:23:44 pm »
How very true, Rallen. I have thought about the handicap thing as well but I don't really trust people and it would be quite easy to mug me right now!
>;<
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." --  Friedrich Nietzsche

Mousey

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #21 on: December 06, 2010, 12:23:04 pm »
Rallen, that was one of the purposes of the Comfort Zone. I am so touched that you read and see yourself in some of our post and can relate to us. It's nice to know that your not alone isn't it. I am much like you. Family, close family is my shield. My main shield of armour is my hubby. We stick together like pea's in a pod. If I'm with him or in my car I feel safe from the outside world. I seldom venture out alone without him and when I do, it has to be to some place that I feel "safe" and is not crowded. We each have ways to deal with our fears and the TCZ is one of those places that we all can deal with our fears, struggles and the ups and down of living with the Psychological Side of our disabilities.

About the handicap stickers. My hubby has one, so we do use his often. I have not gotten one, but I go to the Dr tomorrow and think I may. Only because when I am alone, at a Dr's visit or whatever I don't have one to use and I really could use it. The pain of walking and my breathing issues/heart issues makes it really hard for me if I have to park far away. By the time I get to where I am going I am winded and hurting from the walk. So I may see about one tomorrow. Thanks for reminding me about the sticker.

You all are great people. Together we will learn and hopefully heal as we walk this journey together.  :)

****Mousey****

Dragon Fly

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #22 on: December 06, 2010, 12:44:15 pm »
Curious....what's the process of getting a handicap placard? Is there a form the Dr. fills out?

Interest peaked,
>;<
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." --  Friedrich Nietzsche

Kittyholic

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #23 on: December 06, 2010, 01:27:49 pm »
In Tennessee you have to get a form from the DMV that the doctor signs. Then, you get a registration for the placard, just like a registration for vehicle tags. It renews every two years. I think that is fairly standard in most states, so you might want to check your state DMV.
The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it. (Richard Bach)

justpls

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #24 on: December 06, 2010, 01:51:22 pm »

In New York you can download a form from the DMV site, take it to your doctor for his/her certification, then apply for the card at the town office.  It can be permanent or temporary, I think.

I, too, feel comfortable talking/typing with people on this site and those on another forum that I visit for Veteran's issues.  It is too hard to go out much; I have a cane but it is only good for short walks.  My knees and back wear out quickly.  I have a roller/walker, and if I know I'm going on a longer walk I use that.  It is one that has a seat built into it so I can sit for a few minutes when my knees hurt too much or when I am out of breath.  I enjoy the mobility scooters when they are available in stores, but I want to avoid having one for myself for a while.  I'm afraid if I had one I might never really try to walk again.

Mousey, I'm glad you feel safe when you are with your husband.  One of the biggest adjustments for me is - I am the husband.  I have always tried to make my wife feel safe when she is with me, and sometimes I wonder how she feels now.  I am physically unable to do many things I could do before the disabilities caught up with me, and I wonder what I could do to keep her safe.  I just know I would do my best, but I'm not sure what that would be.

It does feel safe here.  And, when I'm here and in the other forum I visit, I feel normal, and I think of all of you as normal.  In truth, you are not normal - you are all too nice and helppful to be normal.  I'm glad to have found this group.

Now....back to the nightwear..... ;D

Pat


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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #25 on: December 06, 2010, 08:04:35 pm »
Pat,
     Take it from a wife, safety comes from the mind and not the body. It is about being a security blanket as opposed to a security system.  There is just this "feeling" that the world is a better place when I am around him.   I have no doubt you exude the exact same feelings in your wife.  This is one issue I am certain you do not need to worry about.  Unless of course I tell her about your fascination with the board members and their "nightwear"!

Marci
I speak from experience not expertise.

Mousey

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #26 on: December 06, 2010, 09:21:25 pm »
Pat, Marci is dead on. I feel secure with my hubby. Even though he is unable to thump some drug dealer who's trying to steal my purse, he is someone I feel extremely comfortable to be with. I'm sure you wife feels the same. As Marci said, it's that comfort feeling inside, not outside. Like I said, my hubby couldn't kick anyone's hind end. Just not able physically, but when I hold his hand as I'm sure you hold your wife's, we all feel safe and comfortable just from a simple touch!

justpls

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #27 on: December 07, 2010, 10:05:06 am »

Thanks to both of you for those comments.  I hope she thinks that way, too.  And, Marci, she knows all about that fascination of mine.

Thanks again, and have a great day!

Pat


myaccount

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #28 on: December 07, 2010, 10:38:53 am »
And, Marci, she knows all about that fascination of mine.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL ... you're male, what more need be said? ;D

Dragon Fly

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Re: Psychologist Visit Today
« Reply #29 on: December 08, 2010, 03:00:53 pm »
I feel extremely blessed to have a loving, caring man by my side. He's not my hubby (yet???) but he feels much more like a husband to me than when I was married. However, he's not a touchy feely, feelings kind of guy, so I feel way more comfortable talking to my therapist or AA friends, and typing to you guys about this stuff than I would talking to him about it. In fact, last night was night #2 in our new house. It was a scene straight out of a movie. He plopped on the couch with the Laker game on, I brought him a beer. Then I sat behind him and typed to you!!!

xxoxxoxooxox,
>;<
Dragon Fly
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." --  Friedrich Nietzsche